Tuesday, May 24, 2016

I'm Angry

Can I be honest with you?  I'M ANGRY!  So, so often I am absolutely angry.  I'm angry about a lot of different things.  I'm angry that I still live in the city even though I've wanted to move for years.  I'm angry that I have a few neighbors that are complete asses.  I'm angry that I have a former friend saying crap behind my back even though I have said absolutely nothing.  I'm angry that I'm broke every month.  I'm angry that I've needed new shoes since LAST YEAR but can't afford them.  I'm angry that I can't give my kids things they want because of not having money.  I'm angry that I blow my back out whenever I pick up my kids because of this dumb back injury.

I'm angry.  You could say I'm having a moment of weakness here.  But I can't sit here and act like everything is OK because, no, I'm NOT OK.  I'm sorry if no smile is thrown your way but I'm exhausted. 

"God, are you avoiding me? Where are you when I need you?"  You ever feel that way?  Well if you do, then at least you're in good company.  The bible, especially in the book of Psalms, is full of people that are angry, upset, overwhelmed, and plain done.  Don't believe that watered-down "everything is awesome" fluff you hear on Christian radio. "The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows.  It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it."  I think that's one of the realest quotes to ever be written in a movie.  Life is difficult.  Life will hit you hard.  Life will make you angry.  It's what you choose to do then, when you're down, that matters most. 

I can't say it any better than Rocky Balboa did: "If you know what you're worth then go out and get what you're worth!  But you gotta be willing to take the hits and not point fingers saying you ain't where you want to be because of him or her or anybody!  Cowards do that and that ain't you!  You're better than that!" 

So... Be angry.  Be mad.  Yell.  Scream.  But don't forget to GET BACK UP!  FIGHT!  TELL LIFE TO BRING IT!  And realize YOU ARE NOT ALONE in this struggle.  I'm with you.  And there are others with you as well.  Stand up and give life a black eye for knocking you down.  You're not a survivor.  You are a conqueror.  An ANGRY conqueror!

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

I'm A Barbie Girl

Confession: I've liked Barbie Girl by Aqua since day 1!  It's ridiculous and over the top and yet somehow lyrically deep in a way.  Is it a commentary of how we objectify women and create unrealistic standards for girls?  Or is it just a silly dance track that's super fun?  Either way I love the tune.  Whether it makes you laugh or makes you think there's something deeper to the song, I hope you enjoy my take on Barbie Girl.

Monday, May 9, 2016

Limbo Sucks

One of the worst feelings ever is having a long to-do list without the actual means to get anything done.  It's pure agony.  It's utter misery.  It's suckiness to the maximum!  You just sit there and stare at that list as it stares back at you mockingly.
 Will any of this crap ever get done?!

There's an old saying, "You have to spend money to make money."  Well what the hell do you do when you don't have any money?  You wait.  Waiting, how can I put this eloquently, FREAKING SUCKS!  I have quite a few things going on right now that are in that waiting/limbo/will-it-ever-get-done stage. And it is the least fun stage you can be in.  But, it is what it is.  That's life as they say. 

Perhaps what makes it difficult is the dreaded feeling of that thing that haunts your to-do list may... NEVER GET DONE?!  That feeling can sometimes cause us to do stupid stuff and try to force our way to get it finished/fixed/whatever.  But what happens when we try and finish something that we don't actually have the means to finish is it becomes something less than what we wanted and fills us with new frustration. 

Being stuck in limbo sucks!  But I find it's much better to wait it out than try to force it.  In the end it will turn out MUCH better when you finally get the correct means for completing said to-do item, whether that means is money, a special tool, the right partner, ect. 

So here's to all those of us that feel stuck in this limbo poo. I know it sucks to be here but we WILL make it out alive, cross off that nagging to-do, and move on to the next thing... Where we'll probably be stuck in another limbo... Ugh!