I'm A Barbie Girl

Confession: I've liked Barbie Girl by Aqua since day 1!  It's ridiculous and over the top and yet somehow lyrically deep in a way.  Is it a commentary of how we objectify women and create unrealistic standards for girls?  Or is it just a silly dance track that's super fun?  Either way I love the tune.  Whether it makes you laugh or makes you think there's something deeper to the song, I hope you enjoy my take on Barbie Girl.

Time For Some Real Questions

Limbo Sucks

One of the worst feelings ever is having a long to-do list without the actual means to get anything done.  It's pure agony.  It's utter misery.  It's suckiness to the maximum!  You just sit there and stare at that list as it stares back at you mockingly.  Will any of this crap ever get done?!

There's an old saying, "You have to spend money to make money."  Well what the hell do you do when you don't have any money?  You wait.  Waiting, how can I put this eloquently, FREAKING SUCKS!  I have quite a few things going on right now that are in that waiting/limbo/will-it-ever-get-done stage. And it is the least fun stage you can be in.  But, it is what it is.  That's life as they say. 

Perhaps what makes it difficult is the dreaded feeling of that thing that haunts your to-do list may... NEVER GET DONE?!  That feeling can sometimes cause us to do stupid stuff and try to force our way to get it finished/fixed/whatever.  But what happens when we try and finish something that we don't actually have the means to finish is it becomes something less than what we wanted and fills us with new frustration. 

Being stuck in limbo sucks!  But I find it's much better to wait it out than try to force it.  In the end it will turn out MUCH better when you finally get the correct means for completing said to-do item, whether that means is money, a special tool, the right partner, ect. 

So here's to all those of us that feel stuck in this limbo poo. I know it sucks to be here but we WILL make it out alive, cross off that nagging to-do, and move on to the next thing... Where we'll probably be stuck in another limbo... Ugh!

Ending On A High Note

J. R. R. Tolkien said, "All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us."  I'm 30 years old.  I'll be honest with you: I did NOT think I would feel anything about turning 30.  I figured it would just be another birthday like all the others.  But alas it was not like all the birthdays before.  Suddenly it was as if my entire life flashed before my eyes and I was disappointed about quite a few things.  Here I was, 30 years old, and still not living the dream I've had since being a small child.  Here I was, 30 years old, and still not living where I wanted to live.  Here I was, 30 years old, and still not living free from the fear of judgement of what others think of me.  Here I was, 30 years old, and nearly everyday played out just like the one before it.  It was like I opened my 30 year old eyes and only then realized I was starring in a real life groundhog day.

No, my life isn't a sad life.  I have a huge amount to be happy and satisfied with.  But I felt as if I had hit a plateau and was no longer going towards where I wanted to be.  There are many factors of why I felt this way but as I looked back I was partly to blame.  You see there were a multitude of days, weeks, even months where I chose to do nothing.  When it came to my free time I was content with vegging out and "relaxing."  I'm an introvert so I'm perfectly comfortable with doing nothing.  Except I'm not okay with it at all.  I crave to be creative.  I hate if a day or a week goes by and I feel as if I've accomplished nothing.  For some reason when I hit 30 I was flooded with these feelings.

Now those over 30 are probably rolling your eyes at me.  "30 is so young."  I know this but understand that I did not think I would be at nearly the identical spot I was at when I was 21 at age 30.  And yet, I may be at a very similar place but I am such a different person.  And that's what I choose to focus on.  I'm honestly not sure I believe in fate but I do think some things happen for a reason.  If I would have achieved my dreams at age 21 or so, where would I go from there?  Not to mention I was chasing something at 21 that wasn't truly my honest dream.  I was settling and listening to what others wanted more than what I wanted.  So perhaps I would've become a tired and bitter person.

My life is (hopefully) far from over.  But I honestly want to make the next 30 years more memorable than the first 30.  I want to DO things!  I want to CREATE more things!  I want to look back and KNOW that I LIVED!  We all have such a short time here on this planet that's flying through space.  So why do we waste so much of it just sitting around doing nothing?  Why are we content with making the focus of our days "can't wait to sit down and watch Netflix."  I want to repeat that quote from J. R. R. Tolkien I started with, "All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us."

SO GET UP AND DO WHAT YOU DREAM OF!  GO!  LIVE LIFE!

Fresh Thoughts

Just wanted to get some thoughts out while they were fresh on my mind.  Don't listen to hate.  Don't just ignore or turn away any compliments you receive either.  Try to stay positive and focus on good things.

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